Sunday, May 22, 2016

Zero tolerance - time for change

This may sound like a political slogan, some kind of radical idea, a rebellious opposition of some sort.

What this is, actually, is all about YOU! And me, and all of us who think that tolerance is a virtue.

Tolerance and acceptance is commonly thought to be the same thing. It's a misunderstanding, in my way of seeing it.

Acceptance is divine; it's the awareness that it's time to stop fighting what you cannot change; and be okay with that.

Tolerance is not a divine acceptance; it's more like a self-imposed acceptance, which usually comes with sorrow. It feels like the end of the line; we have no other way out and because we "accept" our suffering so well, we expect praise and sympathy.

Most of us have lots of practice in tolerating, but not much in accepting things for what they are. The result, for what I have noticed, is unfulfilled lives, negative and unproductive habits, unhappy and sick people.

Then comes zero tolerance. What will happen if we don't tolerate things anymore? Wars? Catastrophes? Battles? Separation? Disorder?

Of course not!

Zero tolerance eventually leads to change. Zero tolerance sparkles creativity. Creation breeds positive thoughts and habits, which birth harmonious and happy lives.

When we stop tolerating, we find out better ways to go. 

Let's get to the root of this thought. How long have you been tolerating things you don't like or want for your life? People, traffic, your work, a worn out relationship perhaps, a life style that you don't enjoy, the global crises – your personal crises, even! Eventually, you get to a point that you are so accustomed to all that frustration that you don't even feel it anymore. You just keep going, and complaining, of course; but going. Feeling that you were born to suffer, or that is all normal, after all this is what life is all about. Isn't that what we have been told since we were born? Life is hard.

And so believing, you don't change your routes nor your destination. You don't dare to try, to move in another direction, to stop what you don't like experiencing. You just become so complacent and agreeable, that a more beautiful life escapes from you and you don't even realize it.

That state does not ignite any creativity or will to change, because you are comfortably tolerating it. But if you stop tolerating situations that you can actually change, new and positive patterns will be immediately created. When you consciously, by your own choice, stop the suffering routine (mental suffering, primarily) favorable and productive habits take place. Then is when you realize you can recreate your story.

You must start it at once, if you really want to change what you don't like in your life. Be it your hair, your weight, your bank account, your work, your health, your relationship with others or with yourself. Be aware, though, that things will only change when you truly change your state of mind (from passive martyr to creative doer). You MUST stop tolerating things and you must look for creative alternatives – they are all there, dancing in front of you. But you can only see them when you stop tolerating and embracing the unfavorable situations. This is the starting point.

Then, what's next? It's time to own your inner power. It's time to dismiss old patterns and beliefs that are represented through your thoughts and words. So, change them. Observe your thoughts: are they permeated with "poor-me" feelings? Self-pity, anger, frustration, fear, disbelief in a better tomorrow, apathy, sensation that everything is meaningless... all these and more are unproductive states. And they let you down and bring you back to tolerating everything. To change that state of stuckness, acknowledge those feelings and sensations and say to yourself, with intention, "Stop! I no longer need to feel these feelings and tolerate this situation! I can do better than that!"

And so you have taken the firsts steps: stopped tolerance and stuckness, and recognized your feeling patterns. Now observe your words. Are they congruent with the new pattern of thoughts and feelings? If not, they need adjustments, too. When you are ready to say in the morning, "Shit! It's raining again!" just observe yourself first, and instead of saying it out of a habit, just don't. If you can't yet say anything that sounds better than that, simply don't say anything. More pleasant words will come with time. For now, just dismiss that angry thought. Recognize it, and without judgment just say goodbye. Let it go. And the words will go along.

Changing thought and word patterns is the foundation for constructing favorable habits. Observe how smoothly things will start changing from that point on. You will become stronger, more confident and creative to change those situations you once thought you had to tolerate. Just because you chose and decided to say no to the unpleasant and say yes to creative, loving, and life changing thoughts.

Yes, you can be the change you want to see. Start being it right now!

Rose T.

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